it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
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