you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
we should paint friendship bongs
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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