I need help removing her.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Randomize
