I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
