And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
