Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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