We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
