So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
