i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
