your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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