Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
