the day after is always just damage control
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
