Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
