The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
