VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
