it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Randomize
