god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
