i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Small penises have feelings too.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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