I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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