guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
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