Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize