I have demons in me.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
