Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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