I'm going to jail i love you
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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