Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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