You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
