it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
