Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize