I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Randomize
