I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Randomize
