I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I currently don't understand fingers.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize