Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
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