to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
