it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
