We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Randomize
