I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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