Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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