Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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