you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
