I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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