i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
