i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
