What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
