Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
PS: I just woke up from my shower
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Randomize
