I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
