and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
