You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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