Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize