his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Randomize
