He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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