i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize
