Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
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