The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Randomize
