Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
The feeling are messing with the penis
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Randomize
