Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
