dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
