is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
