she was so not down for the gang bang
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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