she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
