so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
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