i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Randomize
