Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Randomize
