Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
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