HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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