Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
