I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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