$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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