If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
