Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
We were destined to go to rehab together
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
