Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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