We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Randomize
