I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
