Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
