He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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